Satire Archives - Tenno Clock News

TennoCon 2018 Reveal — “Tau: Become Sentient” Expansion

After nearly three years of building up the Warframe universe through the cinematic trilogy of The Second Dream, The War Within, and The Sacrifice, Digital Extremes announces their next big advent in the game’s ongoing history which will expand beyond the Sol system. Initially introduced alongside the Natah quest in 2015, the Sentient enemy faction was one of the greater mysteries of the world crafted by the Canadian studio with only a few teases prior (such as the Synthesis lore of the Detron Crewman) and gave players their first taste of the major players from this faction such as Hunhow who would play a greater role in the aforementioned cinematic trilogy. The expansion is geared toward giving players a deeper understanding of these beings crafted by the Orokin for the purpose of terraforming the Tau system, how they were created, how their journey to Tau had changed them, and how they had become sentient. Continue reading “TennoCon 2018 Reveal — “Tau: Become Sentient” Expansion”

Exposing the Truth behind Forma Addiction

The balance design within Warframe changed forever on May 23, 2013. Update 8 introduced a new item which would change the way players mod their equipment forever: the Forma. Though almost every major update brought with new mechanics which would change the flow of gameplay, nothing has impacted the game to the degree which Forma have. The Forma investigates the origins and controversy surrounding its namesake and those most affected by the ongoing crisis. Continue reading “Exposing the Truth behind Forma Addiction”

System Tenno Struggles to Explain Warframe Addiction to Family

CALIFORNIA, UNITED STATES—Surprised by friends asking about Warframe and expressing genuine interest in his hobbies, system Tenno DamageLtd, MR23, broke into a sweat as he attempted to formulate some kind of response as the rest of his family members present at the event joined in on the ambush.

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Clan Disbands Due to Pacifists Not Participating in New Event

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION ON MARS—After years of defending the Sol System to maintain the balance, the Extremely Digital Clan has disbanded. Once known for their ambitious participation in Dark Sectors and unreal innovations on the battlefield, the ED Clan’s disbanding marks the end of an era.

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Reinforced Glass Upgrades En Route to Corpus Fleet Destroyed

SKYRESH, PHOBOS—After over four years and thousands of formal requisition requests by Corpus Crewman forces, the Corpus Board of Directors approved the production of far more durable reinforced glass for the military fleets deployed across the system. An estimated 19.12 trillion Credits worth of shipments were reported to be destroyed due to sabotage.

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